my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
