i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
