I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
