Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
