i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
accomplished twins. life is a go
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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