Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
