After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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