Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
