I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
