so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
