Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
