So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We named our party play list daddy issues
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
