i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
