The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
