They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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