i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The adults are the big ones right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize