so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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