my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
