How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
