Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
