its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
