I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
