Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
