So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
