hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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