were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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