I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
