Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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