If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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