She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
