i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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