mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think a kid would responsible me up
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
