if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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