wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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