She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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