it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
