Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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