Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma