Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
