even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
