Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize