If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
