saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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