I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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