Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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