Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
