The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize