Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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