First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
