he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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