He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
