Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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