just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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