Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize