He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
