You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
