I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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