ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag