I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
