I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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