Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wanna passion pit in your ass
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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