pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
