how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
