I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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