I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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